You know you’re a scenester if:

3) You never hang out with healthy looking, chill girls. I’ve often wondered what type of straight lady is attracted to these dudes that look just like, well, other ladies! Aha! Ones that don’t have any self-esteem in their own femininity so they have to find it in their male counterparts? That’s the best explanation I can come up with. There are two types of general females at these shows: 1) I see really skinny girls. They wear too much makeup (how fake can eyelashes look?) and they have hair that looks worse than the dudes they’re hanging out with. These girls must be gay, or so in love with themselves they must have sex with exact replicas (minus the external genitalia). 2) I also see a different type of girl, the overweight version of the aforementioned type. These people must not understand the fashion advice “buy clothes that fit you.” As a result of this, I see more muffins than I do at the local bake sale fund raiser for the new community hall. These girls, collectively, also happen to have, and lucky for me, the most annoying collection of voices I’ve ever heard. And no I do not care how wasted you were when you gave such and such a blow job in the bathroom at Taco Bell.

So, not only do I loath male scenesters, female scenesters can kiss my metal ass as well.

*As a side note of annoyance, both genders are constantly on their phones texting or sexting or twittering or whatever the fuck they’re doing. Why are you at the damn show? The only thing ya’ll are accomplishing is the slow demise of your eardrums.