Good morning class. Our subject for today is that well-known romantic ballad by Cannibal Corpse, “I Cum Blood”.
Of course, many of you know this gentle ode like the palm of your hand. But please raise those hands — how many of you have ever read the lyrics?
I thought so. This is the problem with our instant-gratification society. You consume music so quickly and superficially. You get the quick headbang and then move on, without delving more deeply into the philosophical underpinnings of the artist’s inspiration and the nuances of the lyrical message. You miss the opportunity for personal growth that comes from a thoughtful exegesis of the words. You hear the noise and miss the poetry. This will not do.
To correct your shortcomings in music appreciation, we are privileged to have with us today Professor Big C, who will deliver for us a spoken-word recital of the lyrics to “I Cum Blood”.
It goes without saying that you have also neglected the heart-felt lyrical message in that classic Dying Fetus song, “Homicidal Retribution”, with its passionate protest against a justice system that allows killers to escape their just deserts. This tune, which appears on War of Attrition (2007), is one of your instructor’s favorite Dying Fetus ballads, and we are fortunate that the Relapse Records label has uploaded to YouTube for the first time a high-quality version of the official video for this masterwork. It was filmed at Philadelphia’s historic Eastern State Penitentiary. You will wish to familiarize yourself with its environs, because many of you are undoubtedly headed for similar accommodations.
After you have reflected upon Professor Big C’s rendition of “I Cum Blood”, your next assignment will be to absorb the “Homicidal Retribution” video and write a 2,000-word essay on what it means to you. You may not use the words “fuck”, “fucking”, “awesome”, “shit”, “cum”, or “splooge” in your essay.
12 Responses to “THE POETRY OF CANNIBAL CORPSE (AND A NEW UPLOAD OF AN OLD DYING FETUS FAVORITE)”
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That’s, literally, better than 99% of all the spoken word I’ve heard.
The lyrics sound very much like something you might have written.
Naw, my poetry was pretty emo. I relied way too much on nature metaphors and shittily-executed Greek mythology allusions. Then I realized I sucked and now I write about cyborgs fucking each other to death. Clearly an improvement.
Yes, I was thinking of your late-stage oeuvre, your more mature output, the material that makes my gorge rise.
To you, good sir, I have but this to say: big, floppy, rotting, octogenarian tits and testicles.
Music to my ears. The kind that makes the wax start squirming.
As in ear wax or as in the stuff that music cylinders were made of?
Or are you actually a wax statue?
The wax we use to coat the flesh of the living, transforming them into objects of art, grimacing in their frozen agony.
Sperm?
When did we start talking about sperm?
We’re always talking about sperm. It’s all in the subtext.
This isn’t the first time CC have been subject to this sort of treatment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc-V3NYckOI
Oh hell! I can’t believe I’ve never seen that. Pure gold.