Okay, maybe you’ll believe that Darkest Hour and Abigail Williams are making new albums. And I don’t actually know of any scientists who said they couldn’t do it. I mean, it’s not as if these new albums are going to open wormholes that tunnel to distant galaxies — but it could happen! They could also include 5 weight loss tricks guaranteed to give you six-pack abs while you sleep!
I hate click bait with a fury hotter than the flames of hell, but I’m getting kind of bored with those “Seen and Heard” headlines. Anyway, here’s the news and snippets of music.
DARKEST HOUR
Yes, Darkest Hour have indeed finished recording a new album, just in time for them to hit the road on the Mayhem Festival tour, where they will be joining Cannibal Corpse, Wretched, Erimha, Body Count, and some other bands (and in what world do Emmure and Korn get higher billing than Darkest Hour and Wretched?).
Yesterday DH posted a snippet of music on a site called FuckWaitingAroundToDie. It’s all of 18 seconds long. It sounds scorching.
https://www.facebook.com/DarkestHourDudes
ABIGAIL WILLIAMS
Abigail Williams have also been recording a new album. They’ve been playing some of the new songs on tour (including the recently completed tour that we sponsored), but in recent days they posted a clip from a recent recording session in Chicago. It’s also very short, but very enticing. PBR appears to be a magic elixir. I literally cried for the first time in my life.
https://www.facebook.com/abigailwilliamsofficial
10 Responses to “YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! SCIENTISTS SAID IT COULDN’T BE DONE!”
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The main problem with the “Seen and Heard” headline is that sometimes you get really excited about a “heard” when it ends up only being a “seen.” Yesterday’s article with NeO, for example.
Maybe I should change it to “Scene and Herd”.
#15 blew my mind and restored my faith in humanity! I literally saw God!!!
Watch Cracked’s “breakup letter to upworthy/clickbait” if you haven’t already, it’s hilariously spot-on.
That was excellent.
I lost 30 pounds just by clicking this link!!
And gained 100 IQ points! The intelligence-boosting secrets the government has kept under lock and key at Area 54!
The world in which Korn and emmure get higher billing than darkest hour and wretched is called “the real world”. Both of those bands combined haven’t sold as many records in their career as empire has this year! Let alone korn. Obviously do and wretched and far more talented, but that means nothing.
Emmure*
Oh. The real world. Damn, I forgot about that. May it perish in flames.
No shit, the real world? Do tell!