(It’s Sunday, and therefore Father Synn returns with another Metal Confessional, ready once again to hear your sins and mete out the penance.)
7 days… 7 days of sin, scandal and sodomy… oh my children, what have you done?
Yet perhaps there is still a chance, a chance to be saved, a chance to be forgiven, a chance to free yourselves from the fiery chains of damnation!
So gird thy loins and follow my lead once more. Witness my confession, and then share your own!
1. I went to Inferno Festival earlier this year and failed to pack a single black tshirt.
2. Given the choice I’d much rather listen to the Deftones than Darkthrone.
3. Youthanasia is my favourite Megadeth album.
4. I really like Chinese Democracy.
5. But I still can’t stand Manowar.
So who will be the first to be saved, or damned, by their own words and actions?
Speak now, or forever rust in peace!
41 Responses to “FATHER SYNN’S METAL CONFESSIONAL (PART 3)”
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I think Warriors Of The World United is an alright song. The video however, is hilarious.
Trust not the apostate my children. His words are naught but lies and slander!
Apart from Pleasure slave, Warriors of the world is the single worst Manowar song ever created!
Kinda like how Smoke on the Water, is one of the most meh songs Deep purple have made, but still the most famous one! I will take Lazy, highway star, child in time, or strange kind of woman over SotW any day!
1. I enjoy the Pallbearer albums (for the most part) but saw them tour with Solstafir and was bored out of my mind the entire time. Do not get the hype.
2. I don’t own a record player and think vinyl is overrated and unnecessary.
3. I like Ghost.
4. Thrash is awful.
Thy penance for the immortal sin of profaning the name of Thrash Metal is to listen to the entirety of “The Merciless” by Aura Noir while vigorously flagellating yourself with an extension cord.
My will be done!!!
Father Synn, I come to you as a wretched vermin not worthy of the vile blood-sucking ticks bound to my own anus, for I hath sinned mightily.
1. I didn’t listen to metal from 1995 to 2011, with one blasphemous exception…
2. For a brief period of time, I thought Nu Metal was the only metal out there, and I even purchased CDs by Staind and….fuck, this one’s going to hurt….Godsmack. (Which explains why I stopped listening to metal. I’m now voraciously making up for lost time, with the allfatherly help of NCS).
3. Headbanging with short hair looks absurd. (I myself have short hair)
Dear god… where to start… I’m not sure I can even begin to think of a way for you to expiate a legacy of sin so vile and disgusting…
Truly my child, you may forever be doomed to be on the outside, looking in…
Wait a minute, I’m guilty of some of these sins.
Yep – I’m guilty of 1 (more or less, if we’re soft on dates) and 3, though I’m attributing 1 to the fact that I wasn’t a Mounful Congregation fan out of the womb.
1. I went to see Pitch Perfect 2 over Mad Max: Fury Road this weekend, and don’t regret my decision.
2. I made a lot of weird eye contact with a guy in a Darkthrone shirt at my gym recently, but never gave him the horns. Mainly because I’d rather be perceived as a possible homosexual than let anyone in public know that I like black metal.
3. I don’t have a favorite Megadeth album, nor could I name one of their album titles off the top of my head.
4. I’m recently got Chuck Pahalaauniuk and Chuck Schunoodler mixed up in a conversation.
5. I cut my hair and shave to be more conformist.
For thy second sin I command thee to go to the gym next time in spandex shorts AND corpse paint. Might as well go 2 for 2.
Also, number 4 is brilliant and I thank you for sharing that one with us.
No sins from me this week, Father, but I’m still not convinced not liking Manowar is a sin. I once liked Manowar but then I turned 20.
Your ignorance of the true path remains your greatest sin. I may have to send some people round with the requisite instruments of penance.
7 years liking Manowar and still counting. Am I a sinner?
Yes. Leave the hall…
(wait a minute…)
Agreed on #2. Also, related to the Megadeth thing, I don’t think they’ve ever released an album that was strong from front to back – the closest thing they have to that is Countdown to Extinction.
You’re probably right there. Though RiP and Countdown… are close.
Another Sunday, another good ol’ batch of sins
1. I didn’t discover this website until last year (really wish I had found it much sooner)
2. Every time I wear one of my Inquisition shirts in public I give old people and christian families mini heart attacks. They look at me like I’m the devil and I get lots of enjoyment out of it.
3. This may be considered “uncool” or not “kvlt” but I did enjoy Sunbather. Just not the way everyone else seemed to. I don’t agree with a lot of the hype the album got, I think it was good and nothing more.
4. I do enjoy Between the Buried and Me but I don’t like anything they did before Colors.
5. There was a time where I owned St. Anger on CD.
Agreed on the BTBAM analysis – not that I don’t like pre-Colors stuff, but Colors and onward is so much better to me. Psyched as hell for Coma Ecliptic, and to see them a third time in July.
I couldn’t agree more. I think they’ve just improved more each release. I am as well, the first track they released is excellent I love the proggier direction they took. Definitely gonna have to see them again when they come by.
Bah, barely a morsel of sin to be found here.
C-
Must try harder.
I accept this challenge father. Next week I bring forth the unholiest of sins.
On #1, I am a believer in the doctrine of better late than never, in part because I am always late. Father Synn, however, is a real hardass… er… a pious man of great conviction who believes in his penance.
1. I love black. But I wish more bands would come out with non-black shirt. I say this probably because Indian summers and black tees dont mix well
2. I like Opeth’s Heirtage
3. There was a time when I actually liked and enjoyed bullet for my valentine. Another mistake of my teen years that I still regret
“mistake of my teenage years”
I’m still technically a teen for a few more months, and I already have these. I went to a Bring Me the Horizon and August Burns Red concert on my birthday freshman year, and had an absolute blast at the time. Oh, if I could go back and counsel my then-self.
I too share your pain. I frequently enjoy a nice non-black tshirt (it makes a nice change from the cassock).
I followed up on Secrets of the Moon earlier in the week. “Nyx” was a song I listened to several times. Stark, atmospheric, and beautiful. Perhaps that will give me absolution from this week’s transgressions.
1. I hadn’t discovered Mournful Congregation prior to this week.
2. While I share your distaste for Manowar, I do like Hammerfall and even Dragonforce on occasion.
3. I don’t mind Megadeth’s “Crush ‘Em.” At times, I have sought out to listen to it.
4. Burzum have never really done anything for me.
5. Because I am a child of the 90’s I have a soft spot for grunge/post-grunge.
Cough… we share number 3 in common.
Once more, I find myself in the need for confession greatly. Thus, hear me out Father:
1. To start off, I too find myself (greatly) enjoying Deftones more than Darkthrone.
2. I have been listening to Sevendust lately, and have been enjoying it. I fear there might be a demon inside me that feeds on the unmetal, which I need to satisfy.
3. I have spent the last 7 days in the Land of a Thousand Lakes, but have failed to speak to any other metal enthusiastic.
4. I thought the most recent Carcass comeback that everyone seems to jizz upon was extremely mediocore.
No 3… how little you know my child… you will have met many of the metal faithful in your travels, you just will not have realised it!
I will have faith in your judgment oh Father and trust that my trip here has not been in vein.
Oh forgive me for I am but a worm
1 Had the opportunity to see Slayer in 1986 in Hartford, Ct at a local club and did not go
2 I do not even see why not liking Manowar is a sin (they are awful)
3 had an original pressing of “To Mega Therion” and gave it away
4 I am over forty five and posting on this cite
No fear. You’re only as good as the one you feel (but please, try and keep it legal).
Also, I know for a fact that our readership extends from much younger than you, to much older than you.
1. I really just do not like Emperor, symphonic black metal is amazing but Emperor is just bland…
2. I love a lot of Blackgaze
3. I’ve never listened to Bathory
4. I find half of all death metal repetitive and boring, especially Old School Death Metal
5. I’d rather listen to something with a huge, powerful atmosphere (Ulcerate, Rorcal) than something that’s just straight up heavy
6. Half of my music collection I got off of this blog
You’re lucky you put in number 6 to mitigate your crimes… particularly no. 1… as I was ready to throw the book at you.
And by book, I obviously mean “knives”.
1. I don’t own a single band shirt. I attend shows in slacks and a polo, basically whatever it is I wore to work that day. I also don’t talk to anyone and spend the time between sets reading books on my phone.
2. Likewise, I don’t own any vinyl, band collectibles or any physical copies of music. Aside from the contents of my iPod, there is nothing about me to suggest I’m a metal fan.
3. Despite attending countless metal shows over the years, I have never moshed and don’t suspect I ever will. Fortunately I’ve reached an age where no one would expect me to.
4. I don’t care to listen to Black Sabbath, Judas Priest or really any of the godfathers of this genre I so love. I find a lot of the really early stuff cheesy and, arguably, no longer metal at all. “Painkiller” is still an incredible track, though.
5. Continuing from that, Iron Maiden in particular I do not like. Though I do consider it metal.
6. My favorite Opeth record is Watershed.
7. Gojira are just okay, and their latest is a low point.
8. I love really poppy metal/hardcore/post-hardcore. Dance Gavin Dance is one of my favorite bands.
9. And finally, because I haven’t done enough damage to myself, I think that Periphery’s second album, Periphery II: This Time It’s Personal, is a modern prog-metal masterpiece, and nothing that they have released before or after it even comes close to its level.
SInce I started school here, I’ve had many a concert where I’ve had to do reading for class in between sets. Particularly hilarious juxtaposition: reading St. Augustine’s Confessions before and after Behemoth’s set on their most recent NA tour.
I had to do a load of reading and annotating of stuff for my Masters in my tent during occasional breaks between bands at Hellfest one year.
Okay..thanks to the guy whose never listened to Bathory and the dude who thinks Sabbath and Priest are no longer metal, that vein in my forehead has reached critical mass
…also Manowar is completely awesome you posers
This whole series of columns is just my attempt to kill you by inducing an aneurysm.
Mission accomplished 🙂