Can it be? Is it truly seven days since last we gathered here to unburden ourselves? Oh, my congregation, I weep for you, and for the sins you must have accumulated. How they must weigh upon you.
But rejoice, for the time of absolution is at hand once more!
As always my children, you show me yours, and I’ll show you mine…
1. The re-recording of Stormblast is quite possibly my favourite Dimmu Borgir album.
2. I find Animals As Leaders conceptually really interesting, but really boring to listen to.
3. I prefer Morningstar by Entombed to Left Hand Path.
4. We once opened for Sonic Syndicate and I spent the band’s whole set ogling their bassist.
5. I still hate Manowar.
63 Responses to “FATHER SYNN’S METAL CONFESSIONAL (PART 5)”
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“3. I prefer Morningstar by Entombed to Left Hand Path.”
Is currently causing me to grind my teeth to nubs
“4. We once opened for Sonic Syndicate and I spent the band’s whole set ogling their bassist.”
Ogling Karin Axelsson isnt a sin, its pretty much required…Actually opening for Sonic Syndicate is the real sin
“5. I still hate Manowar.”
..and Manowar still kills posers with steel
Your picture wins everything
Well…I am pretty spectacular
I’ve already told you that this column is a thinly veiled excuse to kill you by slow increments. And yet still you return…
Re: 2
That’s ridiculous! I feel like across their three albums there would have to be a couple songs that are good, or you just don’t like instrumental music.
also:
1. I hate Slayer
I’ve never really bought into the whole “if you don’t like band x then you just don’t like [insert entire genre of music]” thing I’m afraid.
I wasn’t really trying to say that (although I did say that.) I’m more questioning how you could dislike both the overly complex and technical stuff on their self-titled and then the more hooks-oriented stuff of The Joy of Motion, and I was trying to remark that it’d seem like one of those albums would scratch the itch of someone looking for instrumental music.
Ah, I see what you mean.
Unfortunately nothing they’ve done so far has made any sort of emotional connection with me. It leaves me very cold.
Whereas Scale the Summit repeatedly turns me into a weeping man-child (in a good way).
1. I don’t like Overkill.
2. I also am bored by Animals as Leaders and any other band with a similar type of sound.
3. What do you have against homoerotic, sweaty man metal?
3. It’s just not erotic enough.
1. I tried to get into Meshuggah a few times in the past but they’ve always just bored me.
2. If Necrophaghist or Tool ever do release new albums, I probably won’t care.
3. I really don’t get drone music, yet I have listened to black noise and enjoyed it.
Thats all I’ve got this week. And Manowar still sucks
I would say my sins are:
I despise traditional death metal music. guaranteed change of the dial
The same also holds true for Doom. Puts me to sleep.
I complimented a fellow metalhead on his Cannibal Corpse shirt a week ago, then realized I was wearing a Wu-Tang shirt. Didn’t figure out his odd looks at me until after the fact
I really like BT’s These Hopeful Machines album and am convinced it kept me from strangling a man whilst on a flight back from Georgia once.
That man may have gone on to become a serial killer.
1. I discovered this website just recently. This is my first post.
2. A two-part sin: washed my C.O.C shirt, and managed to dump bleach on it in the process.
3. The only Slayer album I like is Undisputed Attitude.
4. Main reason for going to MDF this year; Melt-Banana.
5. I also concur with the disliking of Manowar.
I have to say, I enjoyed this list of sins.
Welcome to the fold!
Thank you kindly. It is an honor to be amongst the collective.
Yes indeed, welcome. I missed Melt-Banana because of Impetuous Ritual. I don’t know whether I made a mistake or not.
1. I cant stand any thrash metal.
2. I like St. Anger
3. Instrumental metal bands bore me. All of them.
St. Anger, my absolute favorite record, the absolute distinct sound and genuine creativity album in history;
the most sincere, heartfelt lyrics..
helps me spot trend-followers and narrow-minded metalheads
Sorry dude. I know everyone has different opinions and everything, but pretending St. Anger is some sort of creative achievement by Metallica, and not the sound of a band flailing wildly with no coherent ideas, just doesn’t hold water.
Disliking St. Anger doesn’t make you a trend-follower, or narrow-minded. It’s totally possible to ACTUALLY agree with the majority for once, and consider it a terrible album (which it is).
Buying into the retro-active PR campaign conducted by Lars and co to salvage its image though… well… that’s potentially a different story.
That’s how you spot trend followers…people having enough common sense to call out a lousy album for being lousy?
Also, I’m reasonably certain that a lot of the “major” blogs, sites, and magazines, bent over backwards to fawn all over the album BECAUSE it’s Metallica, and because it’s not worth it to them to bite the hand that feeds and potentially lose ad revenue or sour their relationship with the label and PR people involved, by slaughtering a sacred cow.
So surely trend-following would have been us all agreeing that it was a great album, that took some amazing risks… and definitely didn’t sound like the sort of thing a band of 13 year olds would come up with in their very first practice?
But. let’s face it, this guy isn’t looking for a reasoned discussion on things, he’s already dug into his position of “if you don’t like this album, you are a poser”, and is only going to listen to/pay attention to things that confirm his bias. We all do it, after all.
Ive had similar argument with various posters on different boards before…commenter may indeed like that album, and I dont know him well enough to say otherwise…but the comment itself often comes across as someone trying too hard to be contrary for the sake of being contrary
1. I still haven’t touched the Manowar collection the radio station here has. Feel like I should at least give them a chance.
Dont listen to the haters..theyre out of their mind (seriously, what kind of person dosnt think Left Hand Path is the best Entombed album). The first four Manowar albums are over the top, ridiculously fun power metal/heavy metal albums…made all the better by the fact that the band is so clearly in on the joke. Dont over think it, just enjoy their music for what it is
I will not beg for forgiveness or absolution. I own my crimes, wheresoever they lead me. Lord, read my words and weep for me, for you will receive no tears from mine eyes.
I regularly sabotage any credibility the fathers have bestowed upon me by pronouncing the rerecording of Stormblast a devine masterpiece. I know, I know, it’s Dimmu Borgir, but really, fuck you.
And while I’m at it, I will state, for the record, that I do drink from the pagan stream of Myrkur, and it is good. I don’t comprehend why so many of my brethren despise it… or, well actually I do, but again, fuck you.
I will ignite the fire at my feet while bound to this stake by saying (under my breath) that I count Memoria Vetusta III to be the golden calf, a false idol. There, I said it. I was so excited for it. I laid prostrate for forty days and forty nights before my local record store upon it’s release. I had visions of real drums and brutal dissonance. Finally it was delivered unto me. I strapped one holy can of milk to one ear, and one of honey to the other. I drowned in the deluge of celestial sounds, and thought… meh. Just… meh. With shaking fists to the heavens I proclaim Cosmosophy as my favorite BAN album! FUCK YOU!!!
I don’t trust you… Cosmophy is also my favourite BaN album… Stormblast MMV is my favourite Dimmu Borgir album… and I also love hat Myrkur EP…
Clearly you are some sort of sprite or doppelganger, and I’ll have no part of your loathsome trickery. Get thee hence!
You are most likely right not to trust me, but trust my taste you must. Either we are a pair of evil twins, or one of us is an agent of other forces sent to corrupt the other. Which is which is anyones guess.
I fail to undesrtand why A) People Like Ghost, B) Ghost is grouped in with the metal genre
they sound just like a beatle tribute band with a hard on for Aleister Crowley and the occult
If it helps, I also have a hard-on for Aleister Crowley.
I also never really understood the huge love for Ghost. I honestly thought they sounded similar to Blue Oyster Cult. They’re not bad, just not for me
It was a timing issue…When Opus Eponymous first came out no one was really playing that style of occult rock. Since then a bunch of bands jumped on the bandwagon and it became less unique
Fun fact: I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard any Ghost. I’m aware of them. But know zero about what they actually sound like.
ColoredSands is right….they sound like Blue Oyster Cult. It’s extremely hook heavy rock with these crazy satanic lyrics
Aaaaaand… here’s a new Ghost song:
https://www.nocleansinging.com/2015/06/01/ghost-b-c-cirice/
I don’t get the hype around Cattle Decapitation. I listened to the song they released recently and i’ve heard songs off previous albums. I don’t get what’s so special about them.
Also, what is this Manowar you speak of?!
You are a broken man, and nothing can be done to fix you.
Still, try giving yourself a good flogging. That always makes me feel better.
I can get not being on board with some of their earlier stuff, but the last few albums have all been masterpieces, each one better than the last.
1) I can’t bring myself to listen to a full album by Ovid’s Withering. By all accounts, I should love their work, but I don’t.
2) I haven’t listened to a full thrash album since whenever I last listened to Rust in Peace or Master of Puppets.
3) Blackened prog/death bands are fined, but I haven’t yet found a black metal band I enjoyed listening to.
4) Is there anything beyond “Break Those Bones” and “Bleed” by Meshuggah that work? Because I don’t even really like those.
Please save me. I require salvation. (Is it damnation? We’re in death metal, does it go the other way?)
Everything. Everything by Meshuggah works.
Except Catch 33, which I still declaim is them playing a massive joke on us all and seeing what they could get away with.
Nothing by Meshuggah works. People like you just pretend it does. There’s no point to their music. They don’t write songs. Also, Sepultura needs to go away. Max still plays all the classics when he tours, so why does the cover band need to exist?
Everything (bar Catch 33) by Meshuggah works. People like you just pretend it doesn’t. They write great songs and, unlike so many of their lesser imitators, remember that their roots are in Death and Thrash, no matter how mechanised their sound might become.
Their imitators are all terrible as well. You, of course , are entitled to your opinion, no matter how wrong it is.
I’m afraid your right to an opinion has been temporarily revoked, pending review.
I volunteer to stand watch 1st shift to be sure he refrains from using opinions
I don’t think you can handle that responsibility, being a Meshuggah fan and all..
What did I JUST say about thinking???
You said I can’t state my opinion, you said nothing about thinking. Typical Meshuggah fan…
It is only one sin this week father, and one that varies but:
I’ve only listened to albums by Disarmonia Mundi, later Soilwork, 90s to 00s Slayer, and the Haunted this week with absolutely no shame and regard for what I was doing without listening to anything else
1. My cat ghost writes 99% of my music.
2. I’ve never used pro-tools and I couldn’t really even tell you what it does. My entire recording set-up cost about $70.
3. I used to love Faith No More but I’m just not into the new album at all. But my dog thinks it’s the shiznit.
4. I love Disney Channel. No reality shows, no procedural crime dramas, no zombie/vampire/supernatural shows, no news (especially local news!!), no Kardashians or whoever is the popular, talentless, child of rich celebrity, tabloid famous person this week.
5. I like the Transformers movies. wait a second, correction. I LOVE the Transformers movies.
I was able to overlook the first 4. In fact, I’m sure we could have been good friends. But 5…I’m sorry, sir, but not only is that an unforgivable sin, but now I must kill you should we ever meet.
Those movies are beyond abominations. I don’t even know if I can allow for you to have a last meal. Good day.
A confession; I exaggerated #5 a bit just because I know how worked up some people get over those movies. But I really don’t have any issue with them. Seriously, they’re just movies 🙂
I hate your cat.
You’re not alone, a lot of people go into a jealous rage when they see how adorable and talented he is. One minute he’s tricking you into rubbing his belly, the next he’s throwing down monster riffs on my flying V.
1. “Traditional” death metal is completely mind numbingly boring…
2. I find La Dispute to be more enjoyable than any other post-hardcore (or whatever genre it is) band
3. My body has a violent reaction when I hear Arcturus and I just can’t listen to it… It’s just not good…
4. I don’t care what you have to say, missing Thantifaxath’s MDF set was not worth it
5. I still listen to Bring Me The Horizon’s “There Is A Hell…” album. I found it back a few years ago and will defend it’s merits as being the best metalcore/deathcore whatever album ever and I find it to be a great listen.
I’ve been meaning to come clean for a long time, but I haven’t dared. But now I feel in my heart of hearts that the time has come.
1. I don’t like Metallica, not even the first 3 albums. In fact, the only ‘tallica tunes I like are Harvester of Sorrow and their version of Whisky in the Jar.
2. I really dig every single Darkthrone album, except their much-lauded death metal debut.
3. I once bought a Slipknot CD and claimed that they were more brutal than Slayer.
4. I have an intense dislike for metal that’s too technical and/or progressive. Example: I don’t like any Death albums apart from the first two
5. I’m not at all proud of being from the same country as Volbeat. They bore me to tears.
6. I actually like Poison’s Look What the Cat Dragged In.
7. In general, I prefer fast, violent, tuneless, underproduced shit. Bestial war metal rules!
I honestly don’t know where to begin with this one… I fear that your sinful nature may come from some sort of underlying mental illness..
Do you at least feel like you have unburdened yourself?
Yes, I do. I feel lighter, younger, able to breathe more freely. I did fear that I was beyond redemption, but now I think that I may learn to live with that.
Metallica’s cover of “Whisky In the Jar” is my favorite Metallica song. I’m not just saying that to make you feel better:
https://www.nocleansinging.com/2010/01/12/whiskey-in-the-jar/
Also, I am a fellow war metal traveller. Therefore, Father Synn’s judgment is flawed: You need very little redemption.
Not really seeing a whole lot wrong here…though I’d have probably kept that Poison admission to myself forever
Speaking of war metal….Diocletian just broke up….what the hell man
“4. We once opened for Sonic Syndicate and I spent the band’s whole set ogling their bassist.”
I saw them open for In Flames once, some years ago (a sin indeed, for I have seen In Flames many times and enjoyed them all – including the recent additions to their setlist).
Just because they were opening for one of my old favorite bands, they had my curiosity. When I saw the bassist, they had my attention.
Too bad their music sucks balls though.
1. I think the only new metal album I’ve listened to this year is Ahklys-The Dreaming I
2. You can’t convince me that Ghost isn’t just dad-rock in silly costumes.
3. I’ve noticed a bunch of cool new Horror movies have been added to Netflix recently but I’m too busy marathoning Friends to give a proper shit.
4. I agreed with my brother’s girlfriend that Cannibal Corpse is boring and unlistenable
5. I’m anticipating the new Grimes album over any other release this year.