Surely, when it comes to metal, the Finns make a mis-step every now and then. But it doesn’t seem to happen very often. Fuck, even the festivals are awesome.
Take the TUSKA open air festival, for example. The 2011 edition is scheduled to take place on July 22-24, 2011 in Helsinki. Yesterday, the festival organizers released an initial list of the bands that are confirmed so far. Take a peep at this:
AGNOSTIC FRONT
ARCH ENEMY
AT THE GATES
CHURCH OF MISERY
ENSLAVED
EXODUS
GRAVE
KILLING JOKE
KVELERTAK
MESHUGGAH
MISERY INDEX
MOONSORROW
MYGRAIN
SPIRITUAL BEGGARS
WITCHERY
Yeah, that’s exactly what I said when I saw it: Holy Shit. (more after the jump . . .)
Tuska 2011 will feature performances by more than 50 bands — almost 20 more than in previous years. A new addition to the event will be a fourth stage, which will provide “more marginal and extreme program,” according to a press release. There might be something lost in the translation there. I suspect they meant to suggest that there will be room for more underground, less-well-known bands next year.
Anyway, three-day tickets for Tuska 2011 are now on sale at Lippupalvelu.fi and Tiketti.fi for a special price of 100 euros. A ticket agency fee will be added to the ticket price. The special-edition tickets will be on sale until the end of the year or until sold out.
Fat lot of good that will do me. The techno geeks in Seattle still haven’t perfected the teleporter technology, and until they can get the rabbit from one location to another with the head attached to the body, I’m not gonna take a chance.
For more information, visit www.tuska-festival.fi.
24 Responses to “FINLAND TRIBUTE WEEK: THE FUCKING FESTIVALS ARE AWESOME TOO”
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Isn’t Boeing in Seattle? Take a flight. Shouldn’t be that far to Finland if you take the North Pole route 😉
Your very own KLM Royal Dutch Airlines provides service. I would only have to stomach about 17 hours, with connecting layover, outbound and about 19 hours on the return. I think I would prefer risking the loss of my head in the teleporter.
So when you’re traveling that far the trick is to either have access to drugs that put you to sleep (if that’s the case you want few long flights), or if drugs and sleep aren’t available you want shorter flights (more stops) since it means you’ll only be crammed in peasant class for shorter periods of time. In your case for example changing planes in Chicago or in an east coast hub would mean a you’ll probably not be stuck for much longer than 8 hours at a time. YMMV 🙂
Oh, well that changes everything! Tuska, here I come!
I have found that over the counter sleep aids are AMAZING for long ass flights.
They help you maintain sanity while still allowing you to wake up periodically for pee pee breaks and nom nom time
I’ve made a few really long red-eye flights in the past (9-10 hours) and that’s what I did — worked pretty well. But those flights to Finland are another order of magnitude worse. Maybe breaking them up, as suggested above, would work. But I’m almost 6′ 2″, and even 4-hour flights make me want to kill myself.
My first long flight to Japan was like 13 hours from Chicago to KIX.
I made the mistake of trying to kill my brain with Jim Bean. After trying to just stay
awake and read by drinking coffee. I was so brain dead all I could do was stare
at the head rest and weep bitter, sleep deprived tears of agony.
But, umm, yah…6’2″? Why don’t you just cut yourself in half? With all the money
you’ll soon be raking in, sure you can afford robot legs… (And a cock with an MP3
player built in….)
Dirty festival… Jealous 🙁
Maybe if you go you’ll meet Toki Wartooth (Or is it Skisgaar that lives there?)
Toki’s Norwegian and Skwisgaar’s Swedish. But maybe they’ll be coming to TUSKA too. 🙂
Aah it’s good to be on this side of the pond I tell thee!
Cash flow depending next years festival run shall potentially include Wacken, Graspop, Metal Camp and Bloodstock, easily not all of them but definitely 2 of them.
You’re very cruel, it turns out.
I’m afraid that is correct, I am indeed.
Not sure about going to Tuska though, despite the line-up I don’t like that there is no camping.
You have to find hotels or elsewhere to stay for the duration of the festival.
That just doesn’t seem right to me, half the fun of festivals (for me that is) is pouring beer down your neck and crawling back to your tent just as the sun begins to rise, befriending the random nationalities from all over Europe that are camped around and just generally messing around. I don’t think the atmosphere would be right if I had to check into a hotel………
Didn’t know about that aspect of Tuska. I think the last time there was a festival-wth-camping in the US was Woodstock. 🙂
Lack of camping at U.S festivals has always confused me, I just really don’t get it.
When I was at Graspop this year I met an American who told was telling me that he had to fly half way around the world for a line-up and experience like that, he left America………..for Belgium, doesn’t exactly scream heavy metal does it? That on top of it seems highly unlikely that Bloodbath will ever play the U.S, you gotta get to Europe for that.
I don’t know why the Euro-style festivals have never taken root here. The Maryland Deathfest is about as close as we come, and it’s not an open-air, camping experience. It’s a crying shame we don’t have those options in NorthAm. One of these days, I’ve got to make that European festival swing in the summer.
I believe you should make that a priority. It’s also strange how different festivals are in Europe compared to the U.K, ours are overflowing with security, were treated like cattle and there are an endless list of rules, do’s and do not’s to follow, this just causes people to cause intentional trouble because there is something to rebel against. European festivals have little security and a lot more trust is placed in the fans, the result being we behave. The first time I went to Wacken the first thing I said was that U.K festival organisers need to go a European festival and take some fucking notes!
I went to Bloodstock in the UK in 09 as well as Wacken and found it really pleasant. It was so well organised and the food was cooked by filthy hippies but damn, it tasted good. And it was nice to just chill out without the constant press of people. Wacken was incredible, but it’s a mission, just being “on” all the time.
But yeah, European festivals are something else. The vibe … it’s simply indescribable. At the risk of sounding preachy, I do think it’s something you should do, just because they’re that fucking awesome. Except once you do, you’ll have to keep going back, and there goes your life-savings …
Apart from the life savings thing, there’s just one more small problem: my wife is not a metalhead. I haven’t figured out a way around that impediment yet . . .
Let’s play another round of “You’re band name is now a ‘Your Momma’ joke”! Because I fucking can.
AGNOSTIC FRONT — The front your mom puts up until she starts screaming “Oh, God!”
ARCH ENEMY — The double headed didlo I curved around to double stuff your mom.
AT THE GATES — Where you’re dad got locked out, when when I started banging your mom..
CHURCH OF MISERY — The SM joint where I beat and fucked your mom. (They just write themselves!)
ENSLAVED — When your mom is to me angry pee pee. (Cerebral Bore reference.)
EXODUS — What your mom is on to find my angry pee pee.
GRAVE — Where your mom feels like she is after I fuck her.
KILLING JOKE — What your mom called your dad’s dick.
KVELERTAK — Bullet proof condom. That I used to fuck your mom!
MESHUGGAH — I meshuggahed all over your mom’s tits.
MISERY INDEX — How badly does your mom want my cock right now?
MOONSORROW — When I fucked your mom and left her naked and tied to a tree on a full moon.
MYGRAIN — Either what your mom gets when she has withdrawals from dick or the name of the booze I made from her pussy juice. (Seriously, mygrain? What the fuck?)
SPIRITUAL BEGGARS — When your mom begs me to take it easier on her and just do her missionary style.
WITCHERY — What your mom tells your dad I did to her to make her love my dick so much.
I may be a terrible person, but at least I’m cute!
Oh shit. I totally forgot what happens when I post tour/festival lists. I’m so glad you weren’t talking about my mom. All the other dudes on this page must be really kinda pissed at you now.
Nice touch on Kvelertak — that’s an especially tough name for a mom-fucking riff.
I just realized I messed up “your dad” with “you’re dad”. Twenty lashes for me. Oh, drat.
Thank-you! I struggled for a moment with that one.
And, no worries, your mother is a fine, upstanding gentlewoman. She has nothing to fear from me.
Nor do any of the fine fellows (and fell-ladies?) around here.
All my hatespunk is reserved from a special someone who’s retinas shall soon burn with the image of his/her mother’s poopshooter filled with protein-alicious acidgoo!
I pity the fool.
Can’t frackin’ wait. We took the trip from Norway for the first time this year and we had a blast. Definitely going next year to!
I think the word I’m looking for is “envious”. Or at least that’s the polite word.