“THAT’S METAL!” — BUT IT’S NOT MUSIC (NO. 76)

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Jun 302013
 

It’s Sunday, and therefore it must be time for another THAT’S METAL! post. Except I don’t manage to put these things together every Sunday, because following a regular schedule isn’t one of my strong suits. Except I’ve done it for today, and I hope you’ll like what I’ve got. In this collection you’ll find eight items, all of which seem metal to me, even though they’re not music.

ITEM ONE

As usual, we’ll start with the photo that appears at the top. This is part of the Atlantic Road in Norway (“Atlanterhavsveien” in Norwegian). It’s a 5.2 mile segment of County Road 64 that links together a string of islands in the Norwegian Sea and it includes several causeways, seven bridges, and four viewpoints to take in the scenic views.

It was hit by 12 hurricanes during construction, and as you can see, the storms in the area can be pretty fuckin’ brutal. The swooping twists and turns of the road almost make it seem as if it was constructed to dodge the waves.

I have a feeling that if I ever make it to Norway, I won’t make it up and out to the Atlantic Road, but it’s awfully tempting . . . at least it would be if the sun were shining. A few more pics are after the jump. Continue reading »

“THAT’S METAL!” — BUT IT’S NOT MUSIC (NO. 75)

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Jun 022013
 

Welcome to another edition of THAT’S METAL!, in which we collect for your amusement and edification images, videos, and the occasional news item that I think are metal, even though it’s not music (or at least not metal music). Today I’ve got eight items for you.

ITEM ONE

The first item is the image at the top of this post. Take a good look at it. It was created by a Japanese-born artist currently living in New York City named Kumi Yamashita using only three materials, but I bet you can’t guess what they are.

The materials consist of a wooden panel painted a solid white, thousands of small galvanized nails, and a single, unbroken, common sewing thread. Kumi Yamashita created this image and others like it by winding the thread through the array of nails, with the darker and shaded areas created solely by the density of the string and the nails. Amazing stuff. If you doubt me, take a look at the close-up that comes next. Continue reading »

“THAT’S METAL!” — BUT IT’S NOT MUSIC (NO. 74.5)

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May 222013
 

While you’re waiting breathlessly for the next full installment of THAT’S METAL!, I have a couple of items I’d like to share, to make the pain of waiting somewhat less traumatic.

ITEM ONE

For my first item, I give you the mantis shrimp. Not long ago, The Oatmeal prepared a comic strip about the mantis shrimp that made the rounds on the interweb. It described facts about this creature that make a strong case for anointing it the MOST METAL THING ALIVE, including some of these (I sourced other facts included below from this article):

Our eyes have three types of color-receptive cones (green, blue, and red). Butterflies have five, enabling them not only to see two colors we don’t even have names for, but also a massive spectrum of color that our brains can’t process. The mantis shrimp has sixteen color-receptive cones.

The mantis shrimp is one of the most creatively violent creatures on earth. It has two hinged arms normally held under its head. In the “spearer” species, the arms end in an impaling spike, while the “smashers” wield crushing clubs. Continue reading »

“THAT’S METAL!” — BUT IT’S NOT MUSIC (NO. 74)

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May 122013
 

In the six weeks since I last compiled one of these posts I’ve received lots of suggestions from NCS supporters, so many that I really didn’t need to look for any items myself. When other people start doing all your work for you, I’ll tell you friends, you’re on the path of righteousness.

Today I have eight items for you, all of which I think are metal, even though they’re not music. The supporters who tipped me to these items, either by messages or by sticking them on their FB pages, are credited within or after each one.

ITEM ONE

As usual, the first item is the photo you see above. I’m virtually certain this is the first time a photo from Field and Stream has appeared at NO CLEAN SINGING. It was taken by forester Jason Good while he was surveying timber in Meigs County, Ohio, on November 12, 2010. In the words of Field and Stream’s writer:

“[H]e stumbled upon a bizarre sight that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up: In a waist-deep pool of Leading Creek, nose-to-nose like fish on a stringer, floated three whitetail deer. The experienced woodsman needed a few minutes to puzzle out exactly what he was seeing—a trio of mature bucks that had locked horns in a battle to the death, illustrating, in the starkest terms, the potential ferocity and brutality of the whitetail rut.” Continue reading »

“THAT’S METAL!” — BUT IT’S NOT MUSIC (NO. 73)

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May 022013
 

I haven’t put together a “That’s Metal!” post in a solid month. And I still haven’t, not really. Despite the title, I only have one item to share instead of 7 or 8, but this item is so stupendous that it deserves a post all by itself.

In the video after the jump, you will see a cheetah becoming the most metal of all cheetahs . . . and that’s all I’m saying about it.

Thank you Phro for this link. Nothing else that happens to me today could make it a bad day.

Continue reading »

“THAT’S METAL!” — BUT IT’S NOT MUSIC (NO. 72)

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Mar 312013
 

To those of you who celebrate the day, whether for pagan or Christian reasons or just because you like watching kids hunt for Satan’s nuts in the shrubbery, Happy Easter.

It’s time for another edition of this series, in which we collect photos, videos, and news items that make us exclaim, “Shit! That’s metal!”, even though they aren’t music. In today’s installment we have seven items.

ITEM ONE

The first item is the photo above. It’s a weird kind of woodpecker called Jynx torquilla, colloquially known as the wryneck. Why is this metal? Well duh, because this bird fuckin’ knows how to windmill!

Only problem is that it seems to have only one speed — blazing fast. It would probably draw stares at a stoner/doom show.

Okay, it would probably draw stares at any metal show. I bet if it were bigger it would clear out a pit in a hurry though.

The Font of All Human Knowledge provides this additional info about the wryneck: “These birds get their English name from their ability to turn their heads almost 180 degrees. When disturbed at the nest, they use this snake-like head twisting and hissing as a threat display. This odd behaviour led to their use in witchcraft, hence to put a “jinx” on someone.” Continue reading »

“THAT’S METAL!” — BUT IT’S NOT MUSIC (NO. 71)

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Mar 242013
 

That month-long out-of-town stint for my fucking day job put THAT’S METAL! on ice for a while, but I’m getting it going again beginning today, and I’ll start resume posting it on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. For newcomers, this series is devoted to photos, videos, and news item that I think are metal, even though they’re not music.

In this installment, I’ve got coal divers, volcanic lightning, Mt Etna going all out, Sarcastic fringeheads, sculptured books, an underwater gallery, stupid and dangerous at 2500 frames per second, and close-up card magic that will drop jaws.

ITEM ONE

I whined a lot about my out-of-town work project over the last 4 weeks, and I’m glad it’s over and I’m back in the Pacific Northwest. But I also realize that I don’t really have much to whine about. At least I have a job, and at least it doesn’t involve going down into a fuckin’ coal mine like those vacuum-packed Belgian miners shown above (circa 1900). As the author of the site where I found this wrote, I’ll bet they weren’t singing “Heigh ho, heigh ho . . .” Continue reading »

“THAT’S METAL!” – BUT IT’S NOT MUSIC (NO. 70)

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Feb 112013
 

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. It’s time for another edition of THAT’S METAL!, in which I collect photos, videos, and sometimes news items that I think are metal, even though they’re not music.

Today, our collection includes mirrored, floating trees; art that’s meant to disappear with the waves; spiders in the sky; a Kraken on camera; reflections that turn nothing into something; possibly the best condom ad ever created; “My Vag” (well, not mine); and a movie trailer that shines on like a crazy diamond.

ITEM ONE

Tracy Griffin is a professional photographer. For the last four years, off and on, she has been working on a project she calls “mirrors”. I haven’t found a description of exactly how she creates the photos, but in effect she makes mirror-image symmetries of trees, causing them to reflect back on themselves. As you can see in the example above, it appears as if the branches are floating.

The web site where I found the photos describes them as “looking alternately like enormous insects, or family crests, or racks of antlers on unseen stags”. Of course, to me and I suspect most of you, they look like black metal band logos — which is why they’re metal. Here are a few more: Continue reading »

“THAT’S METAL!” – BUT IT’S NOT MUSIC (NO. 69)

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Feb 032013
 

Well now, I have been shirking this feature, No. 68 having appeared on December 9 of last year. Mainly, I was preoccupied with our year-end Listmania series and the nearly endless roll-out of our 2012 “Most Infectious Song” installments. I’m finally finished with those projects and now trying to resume more usual NCS activities, including this series in which I collect images, videos, and news items that I think are metal despite the fact that they’re (usually) not musical.

In this installment: a stunning Rubik’s Cube solution, swans in Poland, People vs Winter, a dude cleaning a cobra pit, another dude playing keep-away with a polar bear, the world’s biggest fireworks display, and Bad Lip Reading takes on the NFL.

ITEM ONE

The human brain is capable of amazing things. Okay, well maybe not my brain, but some brains in some people. Take Mike Hughey’s brain, for example. Mike Hughey can take an 8x8x8 Rubik’s Cube, scramble the shit out of it, and then solve the puzzle blindfolded.

He was filmed while doing this. After scrambling the cube, he studied it for 40 minutes, visualizing and memorizing the steps necessary to solve the puzzle. Then he lowered the blindfold and spent 37 minutes executing the solution. The video is accelerated in the following YouTube clip, so you can see this in 7:39. It is utterly phenomenal. Hughey’s reaction after finishing is priceless. Continue reading »

“THAT’S METAL!” – BUT IT’S NOT MUSIC: THE BIG FUCKIN WAVE EDITION

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Feb 012013
 

That’s a big fuckin’ wave, innit? If you look closely at the photo, you’ll see a puny human surfing down the face of that titanic wall of water.

That puny human is veteran surfer Garrett McNamara, and it appears that on Monday of this week (January 28) he broke the world record for the highest wave ever ridden. This one reportedly was 100 feet high (30.48m), though I have no idea how such things can be measured.

This took place off the coast of Nazaré in Portugal on Monday (January 28). It was reportedly 100ft high (30.48m), although that is subject to verification.

If the record is confirmed, McNamara will beat his own world record of 23.77 metres, which he achieved in 2011 at this same place after being towed into the wave by a jet ski.

And now for the real bonus — this event was captured on film, which you can see after the jump, long with film of McNamara setting the last record in 2011. But first, a few excuses by your humble editor. Continue reading »

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