July 29, 2011. That was four days ago, right? This video was posted on that day. As of the time I scheduled this post for publication, it had already garnered 1.025,448 hits on YouTube. And no wonder.

Some people would say this is music, and therefore wouldn’t qualify for this series of things that are metal but AREN’T music. But I beg to differ. This is NOT music. But it is metal. It is also fucking hysterical.

I have only one more thing to say: Thank you ElvisShotJFK for the tip to this bit of awesomeness. It may be the pinnacle of 2,000 years of Western civilization. Or it may be a sign of the Apocalypse. If this puppy doesn’t generate comments, then I don’t fucking know what will.

And by the way, fuck toasters, just fuck them. And chairs, fuck them, too. Just FUCK. EVERYTHING.