EDITOR’S NOTE

In this post, Dane Prokofiev returns to NCS with the first new installment in his Keyboard Warriors series in more than a year. But what a comeback it is. Here, he interviews Keith Spillett — history teacher, basketball coach, father, and the man behind The Tyranny of Tradition, the best satirical metal site on the web and one of the best satire sites you could find regardless of focus. Not surprisingly, his responses to Dane’s questions are more literate and twisted than the average interview we post at this sinkhole.

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Interplanetary Manhunt for Devin Townsend Impersonator

Tyranny of Tradition founder Keith Spillett impersonates Earth’s operatic extreme metal musician Devin Townsend in an online acceptance speech.

By DANE PROKOFIEV

ZILTOIDIA 9 — For the first time ever, Earth’s FBI has issued an interplanetary manhunt for a keyboard warrior. Keith Spillett, founder of metal satire website The Tyranny of Tradition, is the intelligence agency’s target.

Spillett, 109, is wanted for impersonating operatic extreme metal vocalist extraordinaire Devin Townsend in an online acceptance speech after winning the Metal Hammer Golden Gods first-ever “King of the Internet” award.

FBI director Leonardo CiDaprio said, “Never before has a keyboard warrior been so bold. Whenever keyboard warriors impersonate metal musicians online, like whoever was posting as “Tim Lambesis” on MetalSucks.net, the FBI used to do a Nick Fury and let them off. But this is the first time one has actually dressed up as the one and only Devy, imitated Devy’s voice pitch-perfectly, and filmed himself giving an acceptance speech for some dumb award. It has taken cyber identity theft to a new level.”

Inhuman entities have also expressed anger at Spillett’s crime. Continue reading »