MORE 2011 SICKNESS (PART 4)

 Forthcoming Albums  15 Responses »
Apr 022011
 


Technically, we should have posted this yesterday, but yesterday was April Fool’s Day, and people might have thought we were making up some of this shit. But it’s all true, and nothing happens on April 2 to plant doubt about truth. Except for what causes doubt to be planted about truth on any other day of the year.

Here we are at the beginning of the second quarter of 2011 — the time when for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, spring is supposed to spring.  Where I live, spring has apparently been victimized by a brutal street mugging and is hospitalized at the moment.  A few plants have been deluded into thinking it’s spring, but for the rest of our local world, it’s still fucking winter.

Fortunately, the change of the seasons have fuck all to do with the release of metal. What we do with these installments of METAL IN THE FORGE is collect news blurbs and press releases we’ve seen over the last 30 days (or in this case, the last 31 days) about forthcoming new albums from bands we know and like (including updates about releases we’ve included in previous installments of this series), or from bands that look interesting, even though we don’t know them yet. And in this post, we cut and paste the announcements and compile them in alphabetical order.

This isn’t a cumulative list, so be sure to check the Category link called “Forthcoming New Albums” on the right side of this page to see forecasted releases we reported in previous installments. This month’s list begins right after the jump. Look for your favorite bands, or get intrigued about some new ones. There’s some awesome shit on the way. Dive in after the jump. Continue reading »

HIGH COLONICS

 Album Reviews  16 Responses »
Jul 132010
 

A “high colonic” is an alternative-medicine procedure that involves injecting large volumes of fluid into the colon in order to flush out decaying fecal matter (and any small animals that may have taken up residence). Certain kinds of health nuts believe this procedure avoids the build-up of toxins, promotes effective digestion, and improves general well-being.

Usually, your NCS perpetrators don’t put down stuff we haven’t experienced for ourselves, but we’re making an exception here, (a) because there’s no fuckin’ way we would ever try this, and (b) some things we don’t feel the need to try in order to conclude they’re moronic.

Besides, some people are so full of shit they could detonate a depth charge up their rectums and it still wouldn’t make a dent. (If by some remote chance there’s an NCS reader out there who’s a devoted believer in the benefits of colon hydrotherapy, then you’re a fucking cretin we do apologize for our insensitivity.)

As ridiculous and uncomfortable as this procedure sounds, the idea of cleansing through purging makes some sense to us in the context of a different human organ much higher up the body. We’re talking about the organ that does your thinking for you, at least when you’re sober. To be clear, for the benefit of the dudes out there, we’re talking about the big head.

Over time, your skull fills up with massive amounts of shit — from the often empty babble of your friends, family, and co-workers, to the absolute dreck that passes for pop culture, to the ghastliness that greets your eyes whenever you read the news, to your own hare-brained ideas and ill-informed opinions.

It’s a good idea, every now and then, to just clean all that shit out — just irrigate the fuck out of your skull to remove the toxic build-up and start fresh with complete emptiness. And today, we’ve got international music from three bands that will give you a good skull-flushing: Embryo (Italy), Lost Dreams (Austria), and Amagortis (Switzerland).  (more after the jump, including songs to stream and videos to watch . . .) Continue reading »