Record Label: Relapse | Year: 2011 | Genre: Powerviolence

By Willard Shrapnelspear

You regretted taking that step. Your curiosity just had to get the better of you. Oh, why did you not listen to me? You were just doing fine walking around the cliff top, but you had to literally poke your nose into an oddly out-of-place bush—and wound up falling through a hole, landing right smack into the hard surface of frothy, lake water. Ouch.

At least all is calm, or so you thought. A rumbling sound resounded throughout the mysterious cavern, and a spurt of boiling hot spring water gushed towards you, turning your skin an angry red color while propelling you out of the cavern’s exit with the majesty and likeness of a cow releasing pent-up methane gas through its rear. You are finally free, or so you thought. You crash head-first into the cold, glassy surface of more lake water, skipping across its top comically like a flat pebble thrown by a middle-school kid. Finally, all is quiet.  (more after the jump . . .) Continue reading »