WEEKEND NACHOS: “WORTHLESS”

 Album Reviews  1 Response »
Nov 202011
 

Record Label: Relapse | Year: 2011 | Genre: Powerviolence

By Willard Shrapnelspear

You regretted taking that step. Your curiosity just had to get the better of you. Oh, why did you not listen to me? You were just doing fine walking around the cliff top, but you had to literally poke your nose into an oddly out-of-place bush—and wound up falling through a hole, landing right smack into the hard surface of frothy, lake water. Ouch.

At least all is calm, or so you thought. A rumbling sound resounded throughout the mysterious cavern, and a spurt of boiling hot spring water gushed towards you, turning your skin an angry red color while propelling you out of the cavern’s exit with the majesty and likeness of a cow releasing pent-up methane gas through its rear. You are finally free, or so you thought. You crash head-first into the cold, glassy surface of more lake water, skipping across its top comically like a flat pebble thrown by a middle-school kid. Finally, all is quiet.  (more after the jump . . .) Continue reading »

NAETU: “THE BURNING LANDS”

 Album Reviews  4 Responses »
Nov 192011
 

Record Label: Blood Black Productions | Year: 2008 | Genre: Melodic Black Metal

By Willard Shrapnelspear

Disclaimer: No animals or real forests were harmed in the making of this album’s front cover design.

Yeah, I just pulled that out of the air, so what? All I need is the music, baby.

Naetu may be an obscure black metal act from the kangaroo kingdom of Australia, but they shriek, shred, blast-beat, and solemnly solo like the lovable melodic black metal acts of Sweden and Norway. No, no, no, I’m not gonna make some unoriginal comparisons to Watain or Gorgoroth; they display the general traits of the kind of melodic black metal coming out of those countries (e.g., Dissection-style atmospheric riffing … oh shit, I just made comparisons didn’t I?), but that is not to say that they are completely imitating their influences chord for chord, or solo for solo.

The vocals, for one, do not sound like another one of those typical dudes trying to imitate Jon Nödtveidt’s trademark raspy barks or Dead’s droning chants. Give these blasphemous Australians some credit, man. They come from a country so isolated from the main black metal hubs of the extreme metal world, and yet they still managed to conceive such a high-quality record (by that I mean having no filler tracks) with surprisingly high-quality production as well. (more after the jump . . .) Continue reading »

WATAIN: “LAWLESS DARKNESS”

 Album Reviews  2 Responses »
Nov 172011
 

Record Label: Season Of Mist | Year: 2010 | Genre: Melodic Black Metal

By Willard Shrapnelspear

WA-TAIN! WA-TAIN! WA-TAIN! WA-TAIN!

That was pathetic little me—who hasn’t gotten the golden opportunity to see Watain live yet—imagining how awesome it will be to be chanting this devilishly good band’s name at one of their concerts. I love band names that are made up of two syllables. They are just so easy to remember and convenient to be used by the crowd to get itself stoked during the sound check. Cue festive and hypnotic chants!

Although the highly melodic and influential, but controversial, Dissection finally succumbed to their ill fate in 2006 following Jon Nödtveidt’s demise, all is apparently still well with the much loved Swedish black metal scene. In fact, seeing as how frontman Erik Danielsson played session bass for Dissection a year before it broke up and how 1/3 of the final Dissection lineup (in the much worshipped form of cult figure, Set Teitan) contributes live guitars at Watain sets, it could even be said that Watain is basically pre-Reinkaos Dissection reincarnated (Erik! Don’t ever kill a man and commit suicide afterwards!!).

The gravelly growls that psyche one up for some bloooodshed, the bassy mid-paced grooves, the frantic alternations between stepwise descending/ascending note sequences, and last but not fucking least, that signature high-pitched tuning for the lead guitar on its eargasmic solos, how old-Dissection can a band get? Stellar tracks that showcase such traits are “Malfeitor”, “Reaping Death”, “Wolves Curse”, “Total Funeral” and “Hymn To Qayin”. (more after the jump . . .) Continue reading »

POWERWOLF: “BLOOD OF THE SAINTS”

 Album Reviews  7 Responses »
Nov 152011
 

Record Label: Metal Blade | Year: 2011 | Genre: Power Metal

By Willard Shrapnelspear

Germany. Romania.

Werewolves. Religious satire.

Electric guitars. Pipe organ.

Power Metal. Corpse Paint.

There you go. This 29-word review is all you need to know about this must-buy record.

Just kidding. Jokes aside, that was real helpful in highlighting the contrasting aspects of this disc, eh? The epic, non-LOTR-worshipping (Wow!) quartet behind this masterpiece have been very consistent in putting out quality, unconventional power metal every 2 years, and this fourth record sees them not mellowing down one bit in the uplifting prowess of the power metal sound while maintaining their idiosyncratic image and lyrical theme. I pretty much think they are geniuses, seriously. If you want to sing power metal without sounding clichéd, you gotta avoid fantasizing about damn dragons, elves, dwarves and everything else that appears in Dragon Age or Legend of Zelda. So what do you do? You sing about WEREWOLVES of course! Continue reading »

GHOST: “OPUS EPONYMOUS”

 Album Reviews  26 Responses »
Nov 062011
 


Record Label: Rise Above/Metal Blade | Year: 2010/2011 | Genre: Hard Rock

By Willard Shrapnelspear

Death Cab For Cutie is one band you will never dream of mentioning in an album review about a band under a record label like Metal Blade, and one that was even featured on the June cover of extreme metal magazine, Decibel, earlier this year. However, I am about to accomplish the unthinkable: When this album’s opening instrumental track, “Deus Culpa”, started off with tranquil synths, I had to double-check that I was not playing Death Cab For Cutie’s Plans album by mistake. It simply sounds so similar to the introduction of “Marching Bands Of Manhattan”!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Se4NBz5N_SA
Continue reading »

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